Why wait until somebody dies before forgiving them?

I often did not forgive people who I believed did not treat me the way I thought they should. I thought my mother should have been more loving towards me. I also agreed with my mother that my father should have been more involved in our family. I did speak with my mother about my upbringing, and as she was still alive, she gave me the opportunity to hear her side of the story - an opportunity I would have missed if I had left it until later. I did not completely forgive her, even though I began to understand her much more. It was not until after my father's death that I really found out more about my parents. I appreciate their efforts in my upbringing and the strengths that they have given me. I also understand more about my parents' values, and realize that I could have been much more forgiving when I confronted them toward the end of their lives. I can forgive myself for treating them with less compassion than I could have, just as I can forgive others who find forgiving their parents difficult. I can not go back and change what I did, but I can from now on be more willing to forgive.