When to forgive

I live a busy life. There are so many things to do that I have to leave many actions that I want to take until another day. I am learning which tasks can be left undone, and which ones need to be done immediately. Sometimes I learn the hard way. I did not feel like forgiving him - especially after what he had done to me and my family. I did not want to hear from him ever again. I hated him. Then I got a phone call from a friend. I was shocked when she told me that he had died. I did not expect to feel that way. I would have expected to be glad. I still hated what he did, but I wished that he hadn't died. What had I been doing all those years? I had been thinking hateful thoughts about him in my mind. It had been costing me my energy, vitality and peace of mind. What could I have I done different? I could have forgiven him and used my mind more productively. While he was still alive, I could have let him know how his actions impacted on my family and me. I don't know if that would have made a difference though it would be better than just thinking in my own mind. I have learned to give forgiveness a higher priority in my life.